No Lifeguard – No Diving – No Worries

Hotel’s have rooms numbered so you only have to remember your room number and things are cool.  Actually your room number and your last name.  You have to remember both.

‘I lost my key !’ – ‘OK sir, what room number ?’

‘Ah… I think it’s 337’.. yes.

‘Whats the last name ?’

‘Jones,, perhaps’

At which point you always get a kind of funny look, like you might have forgotten your last name or even worse, you may have forgotten the last name of the person you are hoping lives in room 337.

‘Sir, we don’t have a room 337. Are you sure that’s your room number ?’

So you know when you get older and seen several rooms in two weeks it can get a bit hazy. But you know it’s not that.  It’s really a kind of mild sense of anxiety.

Anyway – having finally recalled the room number and confidently stated your name – you get a new key.

Coming up to the door, however you check again the number.  Its not actually written on the blank key.  So you cannot check it.  If only they had keys like the old hotels where the key had a tag with a number on it.  Easy to remember and you just left it at the desk when you went out.

So you come up to the room and and knock carefully.  A confident person  wouldn’t worry.  Anxiety however leads to a lot of doubt about things and maybe you knock.. just to be sure.  Sure that no one comes out of your probably vacant room.  You finally breathe easy when the green light allows you to go in.

You get your things and decide to go for a swim in the hotel pool.  It’s 5am so no one else, no screaming kids, no anxious mothers, no fitness fanatics will be there.  How futile to try to get fit in a hotel pool of merely 12 yards length.  No.. on arrival the pool is still and quiet.  Not a ripple.  It’s indoor and gradually your anxiety fades.  Start swimming up and down in the well lit pool and after a few laps, you stand to let the now big standing waves subside and the pool to quiet down again.  After a while you notice that the tiles on the side of the pool, the depth marker tiles.  The ones that say 3ft, 5ft,6ft embedded under the lip of the pool edge… those tiles.  They say 6ft, but it’s not is it.  The water is barely 3ft 6in depth and it says 6ft.  How can that be ?  You stop swimming and start worrying. Check the 3ft end.  It cannot be more than 2ft 6 deep.  How could all the engineers and lawyers with all the signs and clauses on the wall, No lifegard ! No Diving !. get it so wrong ?.  There can only be one answer.  Something or maybe even someone is buried in carefully repainted concrete at the bottom of the pool.  Anxiety mounts.  Should you tell the front desk ? No Worries.  You’ll let them know after breakfast. Now what was the room number again ?



what do you reckon then ?

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